The Gritty Virtual Assistant

Inside Secrets to Having Friends as Clients

[Nina Kaufman is an attorney and business expert who is always spot-on with insightful advice. Virtual Assistants seem to encounter the hazards of working with friends over and over so I thought this article was well-worth sharing... --Danielle ]

Inside Secrets to Having Friends as Clients
By Nina L. Kaufman, Esq.

When we're growing our businesses, friends can serve as a great source of referrals. They know us well, trust us, and have no hesitation about recommending us to others.

But what happens when a friend makes a referral... and the referral is the friend herself? The dynamics of your friendship can change radically, and often not for the better. (I know--I've "been there, done that," and got the tatters of a couple of friendships to show for it.) Here are some inside secrets to making sure that both your business and your personal relationship with this friend stays happy and healthy:

1. Set business expectations. One of the reasons that having friends as clients becomes a disaster is that friends may expect you to handle their work the same way as you handle their friendship. Let's say that "Janine" is used to your dropping everything to help her in a crisis. She may get upset when you don't handle her web design project with the same urgency (even if it's really not urgent). Before you take her on as a client, have a good long talk about your company's standard procedure for working with its clients. Let Janine decide whether your S.O.P meets her needs, rather than convoluting your company's policies to meet hers.
2. Be clear about what you'll charge. You're not doing a friend a favor by not charging him (or deeply discounting) the products or services you provide, and ending up in an unprofitable situation you later resent. Natalie ran into a situation where she agreed to help Michael, a friend from church, with IT services. She had agreed to install and configure a particular computer program for Michael--she'd only charge the out-of-pocket expenses for the program itself. She bought the computer program at her preferred partner rate (so Michael got the benefit of her discount). The company sent the wrong program, so Natalie had to spend valuable time straightening that out. It then turned out that Michael had misunderstood his computer capacity, so when Natalie tried to install the program, all sorts of other programs wouldn't work with it. Ultimately, Natalie spent many more hours than she had intended, earned no money on the deal, and Michael was upset with the whole process taking as long as it did, so never referred any further business to Natalie. A lose-lose situation all around.
3. Get it in writing. David had this very issue with Gary, a college buddy. Gary needed help with PR services, and David agreed to help his long-time friend with a particular project... on a handshake. But Gary kept expanding the scope of what he wanted David to do, and once embroiled in the middle of it, David couldn't easily pull out. Had David had a written agreement, he could have set out the scope of his services more clearly so that Gary would better understand when David needed to charge additional fees.
4. Have someone else say "no." You know from the moment you pick up the phone and hear from the friend on the other end that he has a need whether this could become a problem situation for your business. I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach. Other people feel their chest tighten. Still others get a headache. Don't disregard those warning signs. If you know you really can't meet your friend's needs, but don't have the heart to deny them personally, find a "bad cop" to bring to your client meeting. Your "bad cop" could be a business partner, division manager, or other work associate who will be the one to deliver the hard news about what the company charges, when payment is expected, and whether any exceptions will be made. It's not the best of all worlds, but gives everyone a way to save face--and to save the friendship.

Doing business with friends becomes awkward because it inverts your natural rules of relating. Business needs to come first, not the friendship. That's a hard boundary to set. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for a friend is to refer her to someone else to meet her needs. That way, you can help your friend while still keeping the friendship intact.

*****

© Copyright 2008 Wise Counsel Press LLC. Nina L. Kaufman, Esq., is a small business attorney and the founder of Wise Counsel Press LLC, which offers easy-to-understand legal strategies and information products that protect small businesses and save them money...wisely. To learn more, and to sign up for their FREE how-to articles and FREE audio class, visit www.WiseCounselPress.com.

Grateful Mondays: Mother's Day & Solitude

Did all you moms out there have a nice Mother's Day?

I had a quiet, but lovely and delicious, day. My daughter (who I see more of now than probably all her teenage years between 16 - 18 combined, LOL) brought me a beautiful flower bouquet and some designer strawberries dipped in dark and white chocolate... yummmm. My guy is off on a fishing boat so I had the rest of the day to myself.

I went for a long walk on the beach and little did I know what a treat I was in for!

So I'm rounding the point and I see an odd "thing" floating in the water near some seagulls that I can't quite identify. When you live on the saltwater, you see lots of odd things the tides bring in and out every day, but this "thing" is different in a way I can't put my finger on. It's quite a bit larger than the seagulls which gives me some perspective about its size, and I think I see it move, but I'm not sure if my eyes are playing tricks on me. What kind of flotsom is it, I wonder. Is it part of a tree trunk with a limb still attached?

So I pull my camera out of my day pack to zoom in and lo and behold... it's a pelican!

What on earth?! A pelican? In Washington?!

I have lived on or near the water here for over 20 years. Never in my life have I seen a pelican in these inland water parts much less in Washington, period. When I think of pelicans, I think of places like Florida. I know they also have them in California and it's occurred to me that they might be on the Washington coast as well (although I've never personally seen any). But here on the Puget Sound? Crazy!

Anyway, I thought it was very exciting. I took some shots and as I walked a little further I discovered four more pelicans. There weren't any more than that. Where did they come from? It was a really windy, blustery night on Saturday and I wondered if maybe they'd been blown off course from some migration or something.

I spent over an hour watching and following them. They would float around for awhile, lazily poking their heads in and out of the water and coming back up with something in their floppy gullets. Then they seemed to go into some kind of feeding frenzy, flying up out of the water and floating on the wind currents while sizing up their prospects, and then shooting like spears straight down into the water. It was so cool.

I've tried to figure out what kind of pelicans they are. I'm thinking they might be Brown Pelicans, but so far they don't look exactly like any of the pictures I've seen. Veddy interestink...

I'm probably more excited about this than anyone reading this, LOL, but here are some shots and a couple videos for your viewing pleasure. If you know what kind of pelicans these are and what they were doing here, I would love to hear from you. :)

Four of them (the fifth one is out of view), apparently settling down for the day, preening and getting ready for a nap...

(... and a crane, just for good measure)

Are You Trying Too Hard?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who goes into so much explanatation or effort to provide "evidence" that in trying to convince you, they actually have the opposite effect? In trying to make you think they know what they're talking about, you clearly see they don't know what they're talking about at all. It's like the criminal who offers up such advance intricate detail of his alibi and reasons for his every minute action that he actually ends up looking more guilty. They are trying too hard.

Many Virtual Assistants think getting clients is all about jumping through hoops and junking up their websites with every credential and work sample they can think of. They want to put up examples of PowerPoint presentations, spreadsheets, brochures, yada yada yada...

This indicates the erroneous thinking that a website or work sample is going to be the thing that clinches the deal. In fact, as long as they are, of course, flawlessly executed administratively, what work samples you provide will make very little difference. They will be of only passing importance, after the fact, after the prospect has already made up their mind about you one way or the other.

You know what? It's not necessary... especially if you truly are what you say you are.

First of all, you need to know, really know, what business you are in. Are you in the business of writing or design or bookkeeping or secretarial services? Or are you a Virtual Assistant? Where is your focus?

If you are Virtual Assistant, what you are selling is an administrative relationship, not line-item services. And think about it... how do you provide a "work sample" of a relationship?

The absolute, most important credential for a Virtual Assistant is competence. That qualification isn't "sold" or evidenced through work samples. It is an intangible characteristic that is demonstrated throughout all your interactions with your prospects and site visitors.

It's in how you've set your business, policies and processes up. It's in the conversations you have with would-be clients. It's in your ability to lead your own business. It's in your writing on your blog and your content on your website. It's the confidence you project when you meet with new clients (whether that's in person or on the phone). It's the professional image you present visually, verbally, in writing, even in the operation of your business.

All of these things combined become a living, dynamic demonstration--work sample, if you like--of your competence and expertise. While they are intangible, these are the things that clients will directly and powerfully correlate with your administrative ability and skill level. That might not sound right to you. It might not be logical. It is, nonetheless, absolutely true.

Consumers make purchasing decisions for emotional reasons. It's a researched, proven and verifiable fact. They are also hugely influenced by instant, unconscious judgments they make within minutes of meeting you or visiting your site, as well as other subliminal messages they receive along the way. They will only look to rational "evidence" to back up their emotional decision. Nothing, and especially not any work sample, will have more effect on your ability to be perceived as worth every penny you charge than the things I've outlined above.

So the questions you should be asking yourself don't have to do with what work samples to provide. Instead, the questions to really be pondering are:

What message is the visual presentation of your website communicating to your site visitors? Is it one of high-calibre competence and ability? Is it one of an established, truthworthy, credible and committed business? Will your audience have an affinity with it?

What about your written message? Does it portray a confident, qualified and skilled professional? Does it demonstrate an absolute understanding of the difficulties or problems your target market wants to solve? Does it expertly inform them about the solution you provide for those difficulties and problems? Does it convey warmth, trust, perhaps even the feeling that they are having a close and personal conversation with you? Does it portray, without any doubt, that you know exactly what you're doing, are highly skilled and have a plan to help take away their burdens?

What about practical correlations? Is it flawless in its exectution of spelling, punctuation and grammar or is littered with typos and misspellings? Are the ideas coherently presented?

Keep this in mind as well... No one is going to come to your website and decide to work with you based on a brochure or desktop publishing sample. "Selling" professional services is a far more personal, intricate and involved dance. Most of the time, Virtual Assistant clients come to us through our networking efforts and word-of-mouth. And why is that? Because through our writing and interactions with them (or those who refer them), we have demonstrated our competence and instilled the know, like and trust factor. Your most well-placed efforts will be along those lines.

What Distinguishes Virtual Assistance from Secretarial Services

I was reviewing a few of the latest Virtual Assistant Industry Survey results recently. What was interesting is how many people still don't understand the difference between secretarial services and Virtual Assistance.

Secretarial services have existed long before the Internet arrived. There are many people under the mistaken idea that just because they operate "virtually," they are a "virtual" assistant.

The Internet is merely a tool that gives businesses yet another avenue for doing business and connecting and working with clients. So, it doesn't matter whether you have a brick and mortar office you rent, an office out of your home or a "virtual" office on the World Wide Web (e.g., your website)--they are all still businesses.

Being "virtual" is not the thing that defines the concept of Virtual Assistance. It's merely a characteristic that denotes how we work with clients.

Likewise, there are many businesses who categorize themselves under Virtual Assistance when, in fact, they are actually secretarial services.

In asking the members of my Virtual Assistant association what they thought the differences were, we got lots of overly complicated, abstract answers.

There is only one simple thing that differentiates Virtual Assistance from secretarial services.

It's not about the mindset of the Virtual Assistant or secretarial service business owner because you can find employee mindset in Virtual Assistants as well as secretarial service providers. You can also find proactiveness and caring about their work and wanting to go beyond a job well done in both. Both kinds of businesses focus on administrative services. Either can be highly skilled or poorly skilled.

It doesn't have anything to do with the person or business providing the service. The difference all hinges upon whether the relationship is project by project or if it is an intentionally ongoing, monthly relationship.

If someone is focused on selling line-item administrative services ala carte, they are providing secretarial services. It's like the relationship you have with, say, Kinkos. You go there for one-off types of services. You might be a repeat customer and come back periodically because they have done good work on past projects and you've become familiar with or come to like the people you work with there. But they aren't any more involved in your business than your mailman. It's not the same kind of relationship that is referred to in Virtual Assistance.

Virtual Assistance is about working in ongoing relationship with clients on a month-to-month basis, not occasional projects or tasks. On top of this, administrative work isn't an event; it's not something you do once and you never have to do again. Administration is ongoing throughout the life of every business.

So as a Virtual Assistant, the focus isn't on selling one-off, individual services. If that is what you are doing, that is not Virtual Assistance. As a Virtual Assistant, what you are selling is the relationship itself; the opportunity for a business owner to have an administrative right-hand which could include any number of administrative roles or service areas depending on the client and their needs (which you would determine and negotiate through your consultation process).

The relationship is the key that defines Virtual Assistance and makes it what it is.

Without the continuity and consistency of the relationship, you don't get to know the client, their business or their work to the degree that allows you to provide that right-hand value. Without the relationship, administrative work can only be done in fits and starts and bits and pieces. You can't begin to develop an idea of the big picture of the business because you aren't part of the business.

Without the big picture, there is no view for helping clients discover where improvements in systems and processes can be made. Without working together on an ongoing basis, the client never gets to actualize the kind of efficiencies and forward growth that occur only when there is a body of intimate knowledge and familiarity that is built and expanded upon on a continuous basis. It is an entirely unique dynamic that cannot be had without working together, continuously, in collaborative partnership.

If administrative work is performed on a start and stop, occasional basis (services ala carte), the impact it has on the business as a whole organism is very isolated. But if you are a Virtual Assistant, you are selling a package of ongoing support (a relationship) which uniquely offers clients the ability to achieve an entirely different, higher body of knowledge, forward growth and results that will not just get tasks done, but built upon the foundation of the business itself.

This is what defines the concept of Virtual Assistance and distinguishes it from secretarial services.

Grateful Mondays: Epic Journeys

Today I'm rooting for my dad... He retired this year at age 65 and is spry and fit as a fiddle. He's always been a runner, biker, hiker and health food nut, and he's in better shape than some men half his age!

One of the adventures he planned for retirement was taking on the Appalachian Trail, which is a 2,090 mile hiking trail in the U.S. that extends from Georgia to Maine.

He began his epic journey at the end of April and I received my first postcard from him over the weekend mailed from somewhere in Georgia. Too bad I can't read half his writing--I have no idea what interesting tidbits he was attempting to relate, LOL.

I do know that he planned on a nice, steady, easygoing pace and figured it would take around six months to complete. Of course, my sister and I will be worrywarts, especially since he has refused to take a cell phone or anything in case of emergency. But I admire his self-reliance and adventurous spirit.

Hats off to ya, Dad!