When someone goes to the trouble to tell you “no” as honestly and as politely as they can or care to be, accept the answer. Period.
It is neither polite, gracious nor respectful toward that person to keep pushing the issue. What it is, is self-centered and self-absorbed.
Who are you to argue with their boundaries, standards and priorities? Do you think they were put here on this earth with nothing else or nothing better to do than wait on you hand and foot?
You are not the center of the universe. No one owes you their time, attention or energy. No one even owes you politeness or graciousness, for that matter, and especially not when you don’t extend good manners or graciousness yourself in the first place.
Those things are gifts and it is each and every person’s right to decide upon whom they will bestow those things. They give what they choose or are able to give and you should have the good grace to respect that and not demand anything more as if you were entitled. When you’re paying for that person’s time, then and only then do you MAYBE have any say-so as to who and what they give their time and attention to.
Get conscious about this. Take responsibility for how you treat others (givers are conscious and grateful; takers are self-entitled and think everyone owes them). Be mindful of your manners and what kind of imposition you may be creating. Stop thinking about only yourself.
Thanks for commenting. Yeah, the virtual assistant term is really completely idiotic to...
3 Comments
Umm, and what brought this post on? Strictly from my own perspective, I know that my blog posts usually come from something that’s happened in my business or in my life. Who in your life doesn’t understand the meaning of the word no?
=>Donna Caissie, the ExtraOrdinary Assistant
ExtraOrdinary Assistance
http://www.extra-assist.com
va@extra-assist.com
Daniella, I think that is some of the most useful advise I have heard in a long time. It is true, even with children, you say “no” and they keep asking. When I was rearing my children, they learned early on that “no” never changed to “yes.” Even when friends came over, my children would say, “Don’t bother asking again, “no” never changes to “yes.” It is amazing how a two letter word can be so misunderstood. The next sentence after “no,” is usually, Why?”
I don’t know what prompted your post, but I totally agree with you. No is no, and that’s it, period. Thanks for putting it into usable verbage! Maybe this will help some to better understand the frustration of the endless “NO!”
It’s just a composite of all the times my patience has been exhausted by those who can’t take the first or second polite “no” for an answer and seem to think because they’ve been able to bend your ear before or you’ve helped them in some way in the past, they are somehow now entitled to all your time and attention or get to decide what you focus your time and attention on.