The Gritty Virtual Assistant

While we’re on the topic, I want to talk to you about clients.

There are all kinds of clients in this world, more than plenty to go around. As an industry, we have only begun to scratch the surface of all the people and fields we can be helping, and will be helping eventually. And there are way more good people–and clients–in the world than there are rotten eggs.

I clarify that lest anyone who hasn’t yet developed their world sense about this industry be discouraged by my vent yesterday. Don’t be. There is still all kinds of potential and opportunity and wonderfulness out there for you and for everyone. The biggest problem we face as an industry is not bad eggs, it’s learning how to market ourselves, in the right way, with the right focus, to the right people.  That’s part of the reason we are attracting so many of these bad eggs in the first place. Fortunately, that is a problem that can be easily solved with the right education. In fact, I wrote the most straight-forward, step-by-step system to do just that.

But I digress…

When I get my vent on, I say what I say for the Virtual Assistants who can’t afford to. I keep it real and say what many Virtual Assistants wish they could, and would say, if they felt it wouldn’t hurt their business. Sometimes, you just gotta tell it like it is, get it out in the open and out of your system, without all the maudlin woo-woo crap and without apologizing for being a human being and forcing your feelings to be stuffed.

I say what I say because I’m in a position to say it. But I certainly wouldn’t ever advise you to follow suit. There is no place for ranting about clients in your dialogue (your blog, your networking, etc.) as you build your business. This is a conversation between me and you (and me to those particular clients), not one you should be having with your clients and prospects or anywhere within earshot (or eyeshot) of them. All that will do is alienate good clients along with the bad. It’s a turn-off; they won’t know the difference and will think you will be difficult to work with.

As I’ve advised more than one of my members on several occasions: Unless you are an industry leader, have already built your practice and aren’t looking for clients, don’t be an evangelist for Virtual Assistance. That’s not your job. Instead, be an evangelist for your target market and would-be ideal clients.

That said, there really are two essential groups of clients. There are clients who get it, often easily, sometimes with just a tad more education and focusing them on the right things, but who do value it and can afford some level of it or another, as well as prospective clients who get it, want it, honor it, but might not yet be in a position to have it for whatever reason.

These are people who deserve your every graciousness, regardless of whether you end up working together now or later or ever. If you’ve purchased any of my Virtual Assistant business tools, you know that I’ve long advocated that Virtual Assistants always focus and place their greatest attention and efforts on their primary offering–ongoing administrative support, but also create one-time stand-alone services and DIY info products for those clients you can’t work with directly or who can’t yet afford your premium one-on-one ongoing support.

As I explain in my book, “Breaking the Ice:”

Sometimes the client isn’t a fit for you. Sometimes you are not a fit for the client. Regardless of the outcome, every consultation is an opportunity for learning and growth… Don’t forget that even if you don’t end up working with a client, you can still make a new friend. Remember that it’s not all about the end goal. Investing in relationships, rather than outcomes, will always lead you down the path of happiness and success.

And then there are the sharks.

These are the people who are simply out to take advantage, of anyone and anything. These aren’t people you can have any relationship with because they don’t value other people, much less you or the work. They don’t get it and no amount of education will ever get through to them. They aren’t out to be educated. They are out for Numero Uno. They are out to get what they want while giving nothing or as little as possible in return. They don’t care who ends up with the short end of the stick as long as it’s someone else. It’s about them winning, benefiting, getting one over–not partnership and collaboration and mutually beneficial business.

These are not the people who are deserving of any of your added kindnesses or extra time beyond your normal professionalism. You don’t have to do anything–if you don’t feel like it–to help them any further than that. These aren’t people out to refer you because you’ve been nice and gracious and kind. The only referrals you’ll get from the sharks are  more of the same. “Hey, guys… there’s a live one over here. She’ll give you the moon and barely charge you the cost of a month of lattes for it all.”

With referrals like that, who needs hot pokers to the eye.

Don’t be held hostage to this notion that literally everyone is a potential referral source so you’d better be exceedingly nice and overzealously kind to everyone if it kills you. This ultimately also makes you a dishonest, inauthentic phony. Discern the difference. There are some people it’s just not worth dealing with, and there is more to life than business. Live it on your own terms and stop apologizing and second-guessing yourself.

Now, no one can tell you how to spot a shark. I would tell you to not preoccupy one second of your time trying to spot them. It’s the completely wrong focus.

But should you ever sense that you are dealing with a shark (and not someone who is merely naive, innocently misinformed or unrealistic), this is what I have to say to you:

Always be unfailingly professional and polite. There’s no reason not to be. But beyond that, you have no obligation to extend them any further help or kindness, nor be any part of foisting them upon some other poor, unsuspecting Virtual Assistant. You don’t have to wish them any ill will or anything like that. But you do have the option of simply thanking them for their time, walking away, and doing nothing more, giving nothing more, if that is what you see fit to do. There are and will always be a million other more ideal, deserving, giving clients out there to more productively focus your time, energy and kindnesses on. When you focus on the bad eggs, you deprive the good ones of your gifts.