The Gritty Virtual Assistant Blog

Here’s an article I wrote and published today in “The Portable Business™.” If you’d like to subscribe, go here:

All of us make mistakes. We all have learning curves when we’re trying something new. Every single one of us. One of the best things you can do in business is go easy on yourself. If you are constantly beating yourself up, you will ensure more of the same. Honestly, we are all our own worst critics. But you’ve got to be gentle with yourself. Here’s how you can do that and make things far less stressful for yourself in business:

1. Expect upfront that there are going to be snafus. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Just accept that and acknowledge it going in. No apologies.

2. Give yourself space. Your value is not in how fast you can kill yourself obeying a client’s wishes. Forget that! Establish work request policies and turn-around times that allow you to breathe and do a great job. If you don’t, you are creating conditions that will cause you to make more mistakes and feel worse about yourself and your work.

3. Set client expectations. Thoroughly discuss your workflow policies and turn-around times. Talk about the fact that mistakes are inevitable here and there and how to communicate (including how you expect to be treated) when they are are made. Don’t forget to remind them that smart management policies like yours are what facilitates great work and successful relationships. You simply cannot do good work for clients if you don’t have protocols in place for these things.

4. Fire ill-fitting clients. Get rid of any client who drains your energy, including those who expect you to work with them like an employee. Working with ill-fitting clients sets you up for failure and brings down your professional self-esteem. You can’t afford to work with anyone who can’t work within your protocols, who constantly complains, belittles and is never pleased, or who otherwise doesn’t create positive reciprocal energy in your business.

5. Look at critics as learning partners. There’s usually a positive side to everything. See what you can learn in these situations and view them as opportunities for improvement. When you try something new, there will be people who aren’t happy with the effort. That’s okay. Learn from what they have to say if it’s helpful, but don’t internalize any upset beyond that.

6. Know when to ignore abuse. There’s a difference between constructive feedback and gloating. Be grateful for constructive feedback and thank those people who provide it. You can even glean useful bits from those who only want to point out your flaws to make themselves feel better. Just remember that you aren’t obligated to indulge or engage with those folks. It’s okay to ignore and delete.

7. Que Sera, Sera! Whatever will be, will be. This is life, darling. There isn’t a darn thing you can do about the fact that when you put yourself out there, you put yourself on people’s radars and a few may want to shoot you down. So what. Instead of cowering, congratulate yourself for learning and growing! Celebrate the success of taking a risk! These are the things that make you feel wonderful about yourself. And when you feel great about yourself as a person, you bring even more wonderful stuff to your clients as a professional.

RESOURCE: In searching for a relevant resource related to nurturing professional self-esteem, I came across this book by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander: The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life. Not sure if it fits exactly with professional self-esteem, but it looks like an interesting read.