Loading ...Here’s an article I wrote and published today in “The Portable Business™.” If you’d like to subscribe, go here:
All of us make mistakes. We all have learning curves when we’re trying something new. Every single one of us. One of the best things you can do in business is go easy on yourself. If you are constantly beating yourself up, you will ensure more of the same. Honestly, we are all our own worst critics. But you’ve got to be gentle with yourself. Here’s how you can do that and make things far less stressful for yourself in business:
1. Expect upfront that there are going to be snafus. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Just accept that and acknowledge it going in. No apologies.
2. Give yourself space. Your value is not in how fast you can kill yourself obeying a client’s wishes. Forget that! Establish work request policies and turn-around times that allow you to breathe and do a great job. If you don’t, you are creating conditions that will cause you to make more mistakes and feel worse about yourself and your work.
3. Set client expectations. Thoroughly discuss your workflow policies and turn-around times. Talk about the fact that mistakes are inevitable here and there and how to communicate (including how you expect to be treated) when they are are made. Don’t forget to remind them that smart management policies like yours are what facilitates great work and successful relationships. You simply cannot do good work for clients if you don’t have protocols in place for these things.
4. Fire ill-fitting clients. Get rid of any client who drains your energy, including those who expect you to work with them like an employee. Working with ill-fitting clients sets you up for failure and brings down your professional self-esteem. You can’t afford to work with anyone who can’t work within your protocols, who constantly complains, belittles and is never pleased, or who otherwise doesn’t create positive reciprocal energy in your business.
5. Look at critics as learning partners. There’s usually a positive side to everything. See what you can learn in these situations and view them as opportunities for improvement. When you try something new, there will be people who aren’t happy with the effort. That’s okay. Learn from what they have to say if it’s helpful, but don’t internalize any upset beyond that.
6. Know when to ignore abuse. There’s a difference between constructive feedback and gloating. Be grateful for constructive feedback and thank those people who provide it. You can even glean useful bits from those who only want to point out your flaws to make themselves feel better. Just remember that you aren’t obligated to indulge or engage with those folks. It’s okay to ignore and delete.
7. Que Sera, Sera! Whatever will be, will be. This is life, darling. There isn’t a darn thing you can do about the fact that when you put yourself out there, you put yourself on people’s radars and a few may want to shoot you down. So what. Instead of cowering, congratulate yourself for learning and growing! Celebrate the success of taking a risk! These are the things that make you feel wonderful about yourself. And when you feel great about yourself as a person, you bring even more wonderful stuff to your clients as a professional.
RESOURCE: In searching for a relevant resource related to nurturing professional self-esteem, I came across this book by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander: The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life. Not sure if it fits exactly with professional self-esteem, but it looks like an interesting read.
9 Comments
Love your writing, Danielle. I come here a lot for “pep talks” and just wanted to say thank you!
Jackie
Thank you Danielle for the latest blog post “Go Easy on Yourself”. It made me feel much better about my attempt at branching out into public speaking last week. Public Speaking has caused nothing but fear for me most of my life. I even dropped Speech 101 in college.. twice!
As I matured in the corporate world I managed to “get through” some various public speaking situations and was always disappointed that I didn’t knock the socks off my audience. Now that I own my own company I see a glaring need for me to be able to conquer this fear.
So determined to get over this fear, I put myself out there last week and volunteered for a short stand up role in a training class. I rehearsed, mentally prepared myself and as I saw the moment approaching my stomach turned, my face flushed and I forgot every practiced line. I once again just “got through” it and spent all weekend beating myself up over it.
Your article made me feel better. I will continue to keep putting myself out there so I can beat this thing. I would love to stand up in front of a group of people one day and give a speech so brilliantly that people stand up and cheer as I exit the stage. lol… A girl can dream right.
Thanks again!
This is an excellent example, Julia! And I think you’re stinking cool for letting yourself be vulnerable in sharing this. This is exactly why I wrote this article. You shouldn’t be beating yourself up whatsoever!!! I admire you so much for TRYING, despite your fear. That’s character. That’s success. And even though it might not feel like it, that’s self-esteem. The important thing is the trying and getting right back on that horse. Which is exactly what you are doing. You need to be giving yourself a hug and cheering for yourself! You did it. You got in front of people and you spoke. You have nowhere to go but up from there. So what if it made you sick to your stomach and you felt blushed. With every time you try it, you’re going to get that much better. Think of the poor souls who never, ever get anywhere because they are too scared to fail or be embarrassed. You’re not one of them. I have no doubt you will be a fabulous speaker!
Just what I needed to read…getting ready to interview a prospective client in about 45 minutes—I feel more confident in asking for what I need and deserve:)
Danielle: Thank you. Now I am blushing again, but for a better reason. {{hug}}
Danielle, thank you so much for this wonderful article. We are so used to punish ourselves for small things that we tend to overlook the big things we achieve on a daily basis.
Ooo, my article made it to the first page of Biznik today. Would love if you would please rate and comment: http://biznik.com/
This is a great article – we so often push ourselves – I’ve posted this in the front of me – for a daily reminder.
Thank you for this article, Danielle! It really speaks to me at this moment. I’ve been known to beat myself up over mistakes, and I’ve allowed fear to paralyze me far too long. Not anymore! I’m now embracing it all – allowing fear to manifest so I can deal with it and continue to grow. This article definitely helps. Thanks again