Category Archives: Rant & Raves

March 4, 2010 – 8:44 am

No One Can Guarantee You Clients

There are people who care about this industry, and then there are exploiters in this industry who only care about picking your pockets.

Look beneath the surface. Are these people even in the business they are trying to teach you about? Do they actually DO the thing they profess to have the knowledge about? How can they be Virtual Assistant experts when they are not even VAs themselves?

Don’t buy into slick marketing and promises too good to be true. NO ONE can guarantee you clients. When they start doing that, those are INTERNET MARKETERS and you had better run the other direction with your money because that’s all they are trying to get–is your money, any which way they can. They will tell you whatever you want to hear because they prey on your desperation to believe it will be true. They know that telling people they are guaranteed clients is what will make those folks salivate–and hand over their money–because that’s what they want and need most.

It is reprehensible and anyone trying to sell you that kind of BS is a dishonest, unethical slimeball.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Business Savvy, Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , | Comments (2)
March 2, 2010 – 10:00 am

I Don’t Do Pains-in-the-Butt

Seth Godin recently wrote about short-sighted, greedy, selfish consumers in his blog post, “More, more more.” You give them an inch, and they want a pound of your flesh for the rest of your life.

He writes that basically every business owner who wants to provide “remarkable service and an honest human connection” will face the challenge of being abused by a few.

You always have options, as he illustrates: “Put up with the whiners, write off everyone or deliberately exclude the ungrateful curs.”

That last one is my personal philosophy. As Godin so eloquently puts it, “Firing customers you can’t possibly please gives you the bandwidth and resources to coddle the ones that truly deserve your attention and repay you with referrals, applause and loyalty.”

For me, this doesn’t just apply to clients. If someone is abusive, tries to take advantage, is a jerk, an energy-suck, has broken my trust in them or just doesn’t “get it” all the way around, I don’t deal with them anymore.  I ignore them. I remove them. I delete them. I block them. I move on. Go bother someone else. I have better things to do.

Give to Haiti Disaster Relief!

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Business Savvy, Personal Musings | Tagged , | Comments (5)
November 9, 2009 – 10:00 am

No, We Can’t Help You

Omigawd, I just have to vent a little here today…

You know, we work so hard to educate the public about Virtual Assistants… that they are experts who specialize in administrative support, not unskilled gophers and flunkies. And then those stupid fluff articles come out, written by industry outsiders who didn’t do their homework or talk to the right authorities, and we get a flood of contacts from business owners who really, in all honestly, are just looking for people they can exploit and take advantage of.

“Yes, I need someone who can take all the administration off my hands, grow my business, create my marketing plan, build me a website, perform all my social networking for me, ghostwrite my blog, manage my public relations, handle all my customer service functions and order fulfillment, and just generally be available whenever I call to do whatever else comes up. The person who fills this role won’t be paid until they start showing results (and I start making some money). Once that happens, they’ll be paid on a percentage basis (or $10/hr). This would be a great role for a work-at-home mom looking for some side income.”

Seriously! I’m not even kidding. I get garbage requests like that all the time through our Virtual Assistant Partnering service. We don’t even entertain them. I’m just not going to disrespect and devalue my members like that. My feeling is Virtual Assistants have a hard enough time trying to earn a living at this work and find clients who value them as professionals. They don’t need their professional associations perpetuating or condoning this kind of shit on their behalf. Gee, isn’t it great that there are Virtual Assistant associations out there enabling that mentality, making it even harder for VAs to create viable, sustainable practices?

Look, you unethical morons, Virtual Assistants are professionals who are running businesses–JUST LIKE YOU. They can’t be expending their time, energy and expertise for a pittance or only the promise of being paid later (and which is dependent upon whether you are even successful or not).

So tell me, when you go to the grocery store, do you think you get to pay later for the groceries you take home and eat today? Do you go to your accountant or bookkeeper or attorney and tell them they’ll be paid on a percentage basis? I think not. You’d be laughed out of their office as they politely (or not so politely) showed you the door.

I mean, really. Get lost! How do you even look at yourselves in the mirror? Granted, there are people out there who have no business calling themselves Virtual Assistants. But pay competent, qualified professionals their fees and quit devaluing them. It’s not their job in life to subsidize your business growth and success. That’s your responsibility and you don’t get to decide how or what they are to be paid for lending their skill and expertise to your business.

And let me ask you this, you completely selfish and self-absorbed person who wants to rip other professionals off of their time, skills and expertise–if you think like that about others, why on earth should anyone pay you for what you do? Hmmm?

Think about it. This really is big picture stuff here. If you want people to honor and value what you have to offer in the world, and pay you what you are worth, you have to be willing to extend that same respect to others.

633 participants–only 367 to go! Take part in the 2009 Virtual Assistant Industry Survey and spread the word!

newssurv09

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Business Savvy, Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , | Comments (11)
September 17, 2009 – 9:08 am

Virtual Assistant Industry Survey Trundling Right Along

Our 2009 Virtual Assistant Industry Survey is trundling right along. As of this posting, we have 269 participants. We’re shooting for 1,000 by the end of the month.

Impossible? No way! We’re gonna reach our goal even if it kills me in the process, LOL. But come hell or high water, we’re going to get  those participants so that this is the best year yet for the survey results report for you.

You can help… I’ve been posting a steady stream of Twitter updates on the survey’s progress. All your retweets help tremendously so please do continue doing that at every chance you get.

I thought it would also be fun if all of us who have blogs posted about the survey today. I challenged all our VACOC members to do so and so I’m challenging you as well–will you join the effort?

Make a post today about the 2009 Virtual Assistant Industry Survey. Feel free to use our press release or borrow any language from the survey page (yes, you have my permission–copying is always okay when you have explicit permission from the author).

I’m looking forward to seeing those numbers spike! I’ll keep you posted!

Oh, and if YOU haven’t yet, don’t forget to take the 2009 Virtual Assistant Industry Survey yourself! Your input is very important :)

newssurv09

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Don't-Miss-It Events, Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged | Comments (5)
August 25, 2009 – 10:00 am

Turning Money Away (I know! Crazy, right?)

Something must be in the water.

A couple weekends ago, an internet marketer paid for advertising (without getting approval first) in The Portable Business™, our ezine for clients. He didn’t submit the form until later. When I went to the link to see what he was wanting to advertise, it was one of those contemptible sales pages for–guess what? ARTICLE SPINNING!

(As many of you know, there has been some rampant plagiarism on the Internet increasing and many, many conversations about this on various listservs.)

I promptly refunded his money. I could barely keep myself from adding a note: “We don’t support this kind of garbage!”

I think we’re going to see more of this, folks. And I guess they now even have software programs that will do this “article spinning” automatically. What a sad freaking state of affairs.

Plagiarism is plagiarism is plagiarism. You can do whatever you want with your own stuff. Repurpose to your heart’s content. You should, by all means. But you don’t get to do that with other people’s stuff. No way, no how, and anyone who promotes and condones the idea that you can and should is completely unethical.

Then one recent morning, there’s an email from a business owner wanting to purchase a couple of contracts because they are hiring a Virtual Assistant, but they wanted a preview first.

(First of all, if you need a preview on $7, you shouldn’t be in business.)

I don’t normally respond to these requests, but I had to let this person know that our forms are for Virtual Assistants and that it is not the client’s place to be providing contracts–it’s the Virtual Assistant’s as the service provider.

There are some places that would be more than happy to take this kind of money and not give a darn. I’m not one of them. Obviously, I can’t tell who is buying stuff (whether they are misguided clients or actual Virtual Assistants), but if the opportunity arises to properly educate these business owners, even when it means I don’t make a sale, that’s exactly my first and utmost priority. I’m in this to actually help Virtual Assistants in business and help our industry gain some improved professionalism and respect.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Personal Musings, Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , , , | Comments (2)
August 4, 2009 – 10:00 am

You Know What? Bite Me

Just kidding! (How’s that for passive aggressive?)

So I get an email from a Virtual Assistant who informs me that she has been in the administrative field for 10 years (and your point is? I’ve got 15 more years than that on you, sweetie) and that our last ezine issue was “fraught with spelling and grammatical errors.”

Mind you, this helpful person didn’t bother to point out a single misspelling or grammatical error so it could be reviewed or corrected on our online version. This tends to make me think the person wants to gloat rather than be helpful.

Sorry, sister, but I never do anything “fraught” with spelling and grammatical errors. Typos maybe. Which is what happens when I have to throw an article together 10 minutes before publication because people are too intimidated by writing and putting themselves out there. So there’s just no time to send anything to my proofreader when that’s the case.

I actually think I should be praised to kingdom come on my ability to pull articles out of my ass at the very last second and singlehandedly keep our ezine going until we can draw more of our newer members out of their shells and have them start leveraging our article marketing opportunities.

But spelling and grammatical errors, no. I very often write colloquially on purpose, in the vein of “write how you speak.” Or I will bend rules to fit online readability. The difference between me and someone who is illiterate is that I know the rules and choose to bend them of my free and fully knowledgeable will. The uneducated ignoramus doesn’t know any better. So the grammar Nazis can have a picnic if that’s how they choose to spend their time. It really doesn’t concern me.

And spelling… I can outspell most people on my worst day… with a hangover… on two Excedrin PM.

Typos happen to everyone. It’s really nothing to get all pedantic about. You do your best and make corrections when you find them or they are brought to your attention.

Avoiding typos is important from the perspective that your words are your dress in print. It’s like seeing the most well-dressed man or woman with a stain on their shirt (or for the grammar Nazis, his or her shirt). It’s noticeable. But it’s hardly the end of the world–if every other evidence indicates that this is a person of knowledge, competence, intellect and creativity, no typos once in awhile are going to detract from that.

Now what does matter is when a person uses words incorrectly and consistently misspells words (not typos, but actually misspelling). That is indicative of a lack of literacy and poor command. So if I ever use a word incorrectly, that’s when you can send me your self-congratulatory, unconstructive messages. Mmmkay? Otherwise, how about being helpful instead and kindly letting me or my staff know when you spot typos so we can get them fixed up? ;)

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Business Savvy | Tagged | Comments (5)
July 21, 2009 – 10:00 am

Be Careful Who You Take Your Business Advice From

Recently, a member shared her experience working with a business coach who told her that her $50/hr rate was too high and that coaches in solo practice expect to pay between $15-$30/hr for a Virtual Assistant.

Around the same time, I came across a listserv post where a coach was schlepping his wife’s new Virtual Assistant business around to the lowest bidder. In the very next breath, he’s posting business advice to Virtual Assistants about what they need to do to create successful businesses. (Um, newsflash to Mr. Coachipoo: Charging professionally/profitably should be at the top of the list.)

You know what really pisses me right off, folks? That these so-called coaches are out there mentoring, advising and coaching people on business success–you know, like valuing/honoring yourself and what you have to offer, charging professionally–but then seem to think those things don’t apply to Virtual Assistants.

Be careful who you take your business advice from. Make sure it’s not from people who just rolled out of bed yesterday and decided to call themselves “coach.” Most of these people don’t know jack-shit about business.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Business Savvy, Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , , | Comments (3)
July 17, 2009 – 10:00 am

How Many Times Do You Have to Be Told "No?"

When someone goes to the trouble to tell you “no” as honestly and as politely as they can or care to be, accept the answer. Period.

It is neither polite, gracious nor respectful toward that person to keep pushing the issue. What it is, is self-centered and self-absorbed.

Who are you to argue with their boundaries, standards and priorities? Do you think they were put here on this earth with nothing else or nothing better to do than wait on you hand and foot?

You are not the center of the universe. No one owes you their time, attention or energy. No one even owes you politeness or graciousness, for that matter, and especially not when you don’t extend good manners or graciousness yourself in the first place.

Those things are gifts and it is each and every person’s right to decide upon whom they will bestow those things. They give what they choose or are able to give and you should have the good grace to respect that and not demand anything more as if you were entitled. When you’re paying for that person’s time, then and only then do you MAYBE have any say-so as to who and what they give their time and attention to.

Get conscious about this. Take responsibility for how you treat others (givers are conscious and grateful; takers are self-entitled and think everyone owes them). Be mindful of your manners and what kind of imposition you may be creating. Stop thinking about only yourself.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Personal Musings | Comments (3)
May 26, 2009 – 9:58 am

Rant: I'm Not Your Employee

Just saw some idiotic tweet on Twitter. Nothing irritates me more than reading any variation of the ridiculous phrase “…manage your Virtual Assistant…”

Exxxxcuuuuuuuuuuse me?! Virtual Assistants are not “managed.” A Virtual Assistant is not an employee. Do clients “manage” their attorney? Their accountant? Their doctor? Their mechanic? Their plumber?

Why on earth do they have this insulting notion that they are going to manage us?

Why? Because Virtual Assistants themselves insist on allowing themselves to be led around by the nose by clients like a bunch of schmucks. They don’t have the balls to come out and say “no” to clients… to say no to being “managed…” to correct clients when it’s clear they don’t have the proper understanding of the nature of the relationship. They’re so freaking afraid of losing the client. What hostages! I can’t imagine living life like that. It’s both sad and maddening at the same time.

To Would-Be Clients: I run my own business, thank you very much. I am not your employee. I am your administrative consultant. You’re not going to manage me anymore than I am going to manage you. I expect you to talk to me and about me with the same professional respect you would have for any other kind of professional you expect to help you in business. Otherwise, we have no business together.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , | Comments (9)
May 19, 2009 – 7:51 am

Dissection of an Actual Virtual Assistant Cold Call Prospecting Email

Just about every other day I get an email from a Virtual Assistant newcomer to the industry wanting to be hired by my Virtual Assistance company or asking for help in “seeking a Virtual Assistant job.”

I received one recently that was so ineffective that I thought it might be helpful to others to provide a dissection on why it wasn’t an attractive or compelling offer. We’ll take it line by line:

To Whom It May Concern

Okay, right here, I’m not getting any warm fuzzies. You took the time to scour the Internet for Virtual Assistant businesses, go to my website and harvest my email, but you can’t go that extra step and personalize your message to me? And you expect to get a response?

I would like to inquire to see if you have any available positions at this time.

This one is really frustrating to veteran Virtual Assistants. First of all, if I had available positions, I would have advertised them, either directly on my Website or on an employment site of some kind. Unsolicited mail like this creates work for me, work I don’t want and don’t want my time wasted on. I don’t respond to these types of requests and find them especially irritating because Virtual Assistance is not a “position.” It’s a business and a profession. And if I did hire someone, it’s going to be from amongst my colleagues whom I’ve gotten to know on forums and know something about their qualification and competence. It’s definitely not going to be a stranger I don’t know from Adam or Eve who, by the way, provided no website and only a free email account.

As you’ll see on my attached resume, which includes a link to my online portfolio, I have the professional experience, and track record for which you are searching.

Um, you don’t even know whether I’m offering any available positions at this time so how on earth do you presume to know what I’m searching for? I have no interest in resumes, especially ones I didn’t ask for. I look for professionals, not employees. A resume is just a bunch of words on a page. They mean absolutely nothing to me. I want to see competence and skill and critical thinking and qualification demonstrated in action. This email is a perfect example of those things NOT being demonstrated in any way.

In addition, I am motivated and enthusiastic, and would appreciate the opportunity to contribute to your company’s success.

Part of my company’s success is not expending any resources in dealing with these kind of frivolous email blasts. And if I were an employer, I wouldn’t care what you would appreciate. Instead, you should be showing me that you understand what I would appreciate.

I am excited that you are offering this as a telecommuting position.

Um, hello?! Knock, knock. Anyone home in there? You don’t even know if I’m offering any positions. Please don’t contact folks unless you are going to be using your brain. This is not engendering any warmth or confidence in me for your thinking ability, competence or attention to detail.

Its the most cost-effective way your business can go green without the quality of your work suffering. By maintaining a 100% virtual status I save:

  • 203 gallons of gasoline, or $914 per year
  • 2,071 barrels of crude oil per year
  • 1.785 metric tons of CO2 (the principal greenhouse gas) per year
  • I can be 100% paperless – everything is on my computer
  • In addition to less paper, there is a considerable amount of ink and toner saved by not using printers and copy machines. All cartridges used are recycled and kept OUT of our landfills.
  • Less energy is used because my business doesn’t need a bricks-and-mortar location. Everything is handled virtually.
  • In addition, you don’t pay for office expenses such as utilities, desk, chair, computer and the office space itself.

First of all, know your audience. You’re preaching to the choir, sweetie. I’m already a virtual business owner, not to mention an industry veteran. Don’t you think I already know this stuff? I operate virtually every day and live and breath these stats inside and out. Don’t waste my time by making me read irrelevant information that is of no consquence to me. It’s completely useless in showing me why I’d want to work with you. And I certainly don’t care about how much it will save you and your business.

And seriously, everyone is going overboard with the green thing. It’s a tired, repetitive conversation and only hits on features. You spent the better part of your letter explaining something that doesn’t tell me or show me anything in the way of how my business or life would be improved by working with you.

Then there are benefits expenses including, vacation time, sick time, and insurance coverage. Working virtually I am, as an independent contractor, responsible for those costs. As your virtual employee, you pay for my hourly rate and reimburse for any costs incurred for the job (mailing costs, etc.)

Now, maybe this is just me personally, but this shows a level of ignorance that is just unattractive to me. Virtual Assistants who are serious about their profession and having it taken seriously really resent the confusion this kind of statement causes. Virtual Assistants are not employees. Telecommuters are employees. So which are you? Because if you’re an independent contractor, you’re not an employee so please stop calling yourself that. Those kind of ignorant statements especially piss me off because they are responsible for the continuing miseducation of our marketplace, for setting the wrong expectations and for making things even harder for real Virtual Assistants trying to get clients to understand more accurately what their relationship will look like and how they will be working together. You are causing these Virtual Assistants that I care about problems. Of course, there will certainly be clients only too ready and willing to exploit you and take advantage. But I’m not one of them. Someone at this level of business illiteracy is of no use to me whatsoever.

Hiring me as your virtual employee is extremely economical for your company. When all is said and done, you spend nearly double the amount for an in-house employee than for a virtual one. Time is money. Hire me as your virtual employee and save on both. You are making a HUGE impact on the environment as a business owner or executive who hires virtually!

Okay, enough with the virtual employee thing again! You’re either an employee or an independent contractor/self-employed business owner. One or the other. Get educated about that. The government wants its due. They don’t allow independent contractors to work with clients as if they were their employee. By making this statement, if I were a client and I were ignorant about this as well, you have just caused me a huge potential legal liability. Because if my state or the IRS decides to audit me and finds that I’m working with a contracter like an employee, it’s me who will be forced to pay all the back taxes, benefits and penalties.

TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE! I look forward to speaking to you soon, thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Not likely. Sorry.

By Danielle Keister | Also posted in Virtual Assistant/Virtual Assistance | Tagged , , | Comments (3)