The Gritty Virtual Assistant

Latest Virtual Assistant Scam Alert

There is a new scammer out there targeting Virtual Assistants. This particular person (or persons) is currently going by the name of Larry Ellison. He's asking Virtual Assistants to submit short articles to him, luring them with the hope that if they are good enough, they may be hired onto his planned "barn" of Virtual Assistants.

What this guy is trying to do is 1) get free work done for him, and 2) he'll then most likely use these articles to post on what is probably hundreds of scam/spam dummy blogs he's got set up. The email itself may be a ploy to get people to hit reply on it (you never want to reply to spam/scam/spoof emails).

Don't be a bonehead:  If you are smart business owner and competent Virtual Assistant, you NEVER need give away your value or work product for free in order to gain a client. If that kind of client knocks on your door, tell'em "no, thank you very much."

That should be your first clue to ignore this kind of request. The second clue is that this person doesn't provide any business-like information that can be verified or checked into in any way.

So if you receive an email similar to the one below, hit delete and don't look back:

Hi there,

I have a pretty big project that I am working on right now and need couple of Virtual Assistants who have nice creativity in writing quality articles on any topic they think they are master of. My work load will be increasing in the coming future (approx 16 hours everyday) & I am planning to have more than 10 VA's.

Each article will be taking approx 15 minutes to jott down your thoughts and documenting it.

To choose the right Virtual Assistant for me, I have bought a plagiarism checking software so please invest 1 hour for this long term relationship and write 2 original articles of 400-500 words.

I need to make my decision later this week or early next week , so if you are interested in getting a long term contract , I look forward for your reply.

Regards,

Larry

RANT: Virtual Assistants are Not Temps or Telecommuters!

I'm usually the first to tell Virtual Assistants not to get too frustrated or upset at business owners who approach them as if they were a temp or telecommuter or employee they don't pay taxes on. Because frankly, this industry has done a lousy job of educating it's own marketplace, and therefore these folks just don't know any better.

We've now got bunches of business owners who think Virtual Assistants are little more than lackeys who will jump at a moment's notice at their every beck and call for $5-8 an hour. Forget about any respect or appreciation for the work. They think any ol' high school student can do it.

They have no understanding or concept that they are dealing with administrative professionals, independant administrative consultants with years of expertise and training behind them, who have their own operating hours, their own standards, their own policies and procedures for working with clients.

But there are days when I, too, am completely drained and fed up at having to educate yet. another. business owner. that if they want an employee, that's exactly what they need to go hire. What is so freaking hard to understand about that?

When you want an alternative to employees, then you had better expect that there are going to be differences about how things work, how it will be priced professionally, and that it's not necessarily going to be any cheaper.

The value that an independent Virtual Assistant pro brings to the table is that they can often do things better, faster, more efficiently and improved and thorough--without the training, management, equipment, taxes, administration and any other costs normally required with employees--and can support a small business owner administratively in as little as 15 or 20 hours a month. Much to the business owner's success and overall cost savings.

But as self-directed and self-managed business owners, we provide that skill and expertise according to the policies, procedures and standards we have set in our own business. Just like any other independent consultant you seek services from. We aren't telecommuters or temp agencies of flunkies, and we don't work around the clock (every business has open and close hours).

So I'm letting off a little steam here today so that the next business owner who ignorantly and insultingly demands, "Oh, and I'll need someone who is available sometimes at midnight on a moment's notice," doesn't get the brunt of my indignation.

I guess I could always tell them, "Yeah, I can guarantee my availability 24 hours a day. My hourly fee for that is $200 an hour, with a minimum of 160 hours a month. And since I wouldn't be able to take on any other clients due to the fact that you might need me at a moment's notice, you will also need to deduct, pay and report for my SS, Medicare and unemployment taxes. Now, I am just a human being. I will occasionally get sick, and I'll need a week off here and there to refresh, so we should probably throw in some of those benefits as well. And while we're at it, I have my future to think about. If I'm necessarily working exclusively for you, my income potential is going to be limited so I'll also need some kind of retirement plan..."

Oh, but wait... All that would make me an employee. And that's what you didn't want, right? ; )

How to Alienate the Virtual Assistant Market 101

A whole lotta Virtual Assistants are up in arms right now.

See, there's this publicity expert who has decided to jump on the latest get-rich-quick, Virtual Assistant exploitation trend with her $500 training course designed to train Virtual Assistants on how to become publicity "experts" just like her in only four days.

At first, I thought this would be a terrific resource for Virtual Assistants, and this person is someone I have promoted on my Virtual Assistant organization as having great information.

However, this expert has made the egregious error of insulting at such a base level the very people who would be her students--it's almost comical what a horrible mistake in marketing she's just committed.

How she's gone about this is in her marketing, instead of talking directly to the professional business owners (us Virtual Assistants) who would be her students, she instead has taken the tactic of addressing our clients, telling them they need to "send us" to her class--as if we were their employees. It's like two people talking together about someone else's future with that person standing in the same room as if they were invisible and had no say in the matter. The condescension and gall of it just blows my mind!

Then she's developed some template text that she has provided to her affiliates (along with the attendant bribe of a "fat" commission) so they can help sell her program. In particular, there's this sentence here:

"If you already have an assistant who does little more than administrative chores, it's time to turn your assistant into someone who can assume many of the duties of promoting your product, service, cause or issue."

"Little more than" administrative chores?! That remark is so patently offensive.

How dare you demean and trivialize the value and importance of what we do in our profession, not to mention the real skill and knowledge it requires! Those "mere" administrative chores are the backbone of every single business, and it takes every bit of talent and intelligence to do well as any other profession.

Personally, I've spent 25 years developing the superior skillsets and knowledge that in turn benefits my clients and makes their businesses run more smoothly and profitably than they could ever accomplish themselves. Every single one of them will tell you that, too.

With all due respect to our clients, it's not their place to "send us" anywhere or "turn us into" whatever they please. I run my business, and the only person who makes decisions in MY business and decides what services I'll provide is ME. Period. If we TOGETHER decide something is beneficial for me to support them with, is something I feel I'm able to provide competently and am willing to provide, THEN and ONLY THEN does that become work they may delegate to me.

I am NOT supporting her in this program. Had she been more respectful in her marketing and how she spoke both to and about us, I would have supported it wholeheartedly.

Not now, though.

On principle I would not give her a penny because of the damaging and insulting way she is training people to think of Virtual Assistants and the work we do, and talking about us in the third person as if we don't have a say in what training we will invest in our own businesses.

She's made it plain as day exactly how little respect she has for Virtual Assistants. Personally, I'm done with her. She ain't gonna be mining my pockets or those of my clients while demeaning and disrespecting me and my profession at the same time.

A few of my members have reported writing to this expert in an effort of professional courtesy in starting a dialogue, and received very dismissive responses. My members came up with the idea of unsubscribing from her mailing lists. I've taken their cue and also done so, and I've deleted her crap off our resource pages. She ain't the only game in town and I'm sure there are much more respectful experts out there (Bill Stoller of the Publicity Insider comes to mind) who we can follow without debasing ourselves through the association with them.

If I Hear Another Word about the Four-Hour Work Week and Outsourcing to India, I'm Going to Scream

For God's sakes, can this society please pull its head out of its crack, stop being such greedy, tacky cheapskates and start looking at the bigger, longer-term picture beyond its own self-absorbed ass?

I'm happy for Timothy Ferriss that he's quite the media darling of the moment with his gimmicky-entitled book, "The Four Hour Work Week."

It's hype. It's spin. You will never, ever achieve a four-hour work week. Not unless you're a wealthy CEO with unlimited financial resources at your disposal. Sorry to burst your gullible, gotta-jump-on-every-snake-oil-salesman's-new-bandwagon bubble, but it just ain't gonna happen.

Look, there IS some excellent advice in there, such as not multi-tasking and putting some structure, standards and better habits in place for things like checking emails and answering phone calls. But it's this kind of advice that really pisses me off:

"Outsource tasks that bog you down to overseas companies for as little as $5 an hour (many of these businesses have employees with MBAs and Master's degrees who are thrilled to do your bidding)."

For Christ's sake, for those of you desperately trying to grow your own business and market online--look around you at your fellow business owners. Yeesh, look at your own circumstances. You are cheapskating each other right into the poor house.

And in the process, you're contributing to the problems and decline of your own country's economy.

Why on earth do you think you deserve to be paid the professional fees you charge, but expect third world rates for the professional services you need, and won't give business back to the very community you take money from? What kind of business climate do you think you're helping to create? How long can we sustain a dynamic like that? Your very own countrymen cannot make a living because cheap people like you won't pay them fair and square market rates.

You know what the most just rewards would be for the cheapskates out there (which is already, verrrry slowly beginning to happen)? For the Indians and others to realize they are selling themselves short and to start charging their international clients the same market rates as everyone else. And gee, if you don't give a crap, well, I think maybe you deserve $5 an hour clients as well. Personally, I refuse to give any business to anyone who engages in offshoring like that.

Hey, are you from India and reading this? Shoot, you thought you were getting rich on $5 an hour? Come on, these lazy exploiters are taking advantage of you. Use their greed against them. You can squeeze far more than $5 an hour out of them and REALLY get rich!

2007 InnoVAtive Award Winners

My Virtual Assistant association had its virtual one year anniversary party yesterday. The party was fabulously fun, and at the end we announced our 2007 VACOC InnoVAtive Award recipients.

The InnoVAtive Award is an honor given by the Virtual Assistance Chamber of Commerce to Virtual Assistants who have demonstrated high standards of excellence and inventiveness in the industry and in their business. For those who weren't able attend, it's my pleasure to announce this year's recipients:

InnoVAtive Award for Business Inspiration:  Vickie Turley, Elite Virtual Assistants, awarded in recognition of her tremendous growth as a business owner over the past year, and her continuing effots to motivate and encourage her Virtual Assistant colleagues.

Vickie has just blossomed over the last year. It was like watching a switch that she decided to turn on and then Wow! She was and continues to be on a roll! I'm so excited for Vickie. The other wonderful thing about Vickie is that not only is she an inspiration and role model for new VAs, but she always makes an effort to encourage and motivate her Virtual Assistant colleagues.

InnoVAtive Award for Virtual Assistant Business Education:  Stacy Brice, AssistU, awarded in recognition of her exemplary industry leadership and vision for the Virtual Assistance profession.

As far as I'm concerned, there still is nothing in the industry to rival the brilliance, wisdom and caliber of the AssistU business training and its leader Stacy Brice. But hey, these awards aren't just my picks, or of the Steering Committee. We received numerous nominations, both AssistU grads and non-AssistU grads so it sure was an easy selection. Congratulations, Stacy!

We also had a surprise honor this year for Joy Slaughter of A Capital Solution, and Laura Lee Sparks of The Simple Solution, my partners in crime at the VACOC.

They had no clue and we totally caught them off guard by announcing, due to member demand, that they be honored as our Members of the Year!

It's always been our policy at the VACOC that anyone on the Steering Committee would necessarily exclude themselves from any awards the VACOC sponsors. When I originally asked them about their feelings on this, both immediately just tossed it out of hand. For them it was a total non-issue, and they reminded me that they aren't in this for awards and accolades, especially self-appointed ones.

Of course, that just made me love them all the more! And since it was coming from the membership, and they had no clue, and the fact that this was just right--to recognize them for all the hard work, commitment and dedication (oh, you all just don't know how much they do behind the scenes!) they have put into building the organization--I allowed this exception to be made.

So, thanks, Joy and Laura Lee for all your tireless efforts and unflagging commitment and dedication in helping build the Virtual Assistance Chamber of Commerce into an organization which honors high standards of professionalism, excellence and integrity.

And thank you to everyone for your nominations, donations and generosity of spirit!

iPowerWeb--Crappy Customer Service

I am completely fed up with crappy service. Let me tell you about my experience today, which so far has wasted an hour of my business time.

I have many domains registered with iPowerWeb. I called them today to pay early for some domain renewals.

So I get this fellow on the phone who proceeds to interrupt me every other word and try to finish my sentences. No, I tell him when he tries to think ahead of me, THESE are the domains I am paying for today...

He then proceeds to state, dripping with sarcasm, "Okay, if you don't want to pay for your expired domains, that's up to you..."

And I tell him I don't have any expired domains, and I begin to explain that I have messages directly iPowerWeb that tell me exactly when each domain expires--all of which are in the future.

Again he interrupts, and when I try to get him to listen, he continues TO TALK VERY LOUDLY OVER ME SO I CAN'T TALK.

I finally shout HELLO? WHO IS IMPORTANT HERE? THE CUSTOMER OR...

And he hung up on me. This, after I spent God know how much time on hold just waiting to get through.

So then I call back, again over 10 minutes on hold, and when someone finally gets on I ask to speak to a supervisor. After having to dance around with yet another CSR, she finally agrees to allow me to speak to a supervisor. I then wait several more minutes, and what do I get? Voicemail! And no way to get back into the call qeue.

So now as I sit here waiting on my third call to iPowerWeb on this issue, I am appalled at the level of crappy service I am experiencing and have to vent here.

I'm thinking I transfer my domains to another registrar. I absolutely won't pay money to any company for treatment like that. And I'd advise you to do the same.

I Really Hate Sales Pages

You know what I'm talking about?

Those long, run-on pages of text filled with giant headlines and full of all kinds of hyperbole and implied promises of overnight wealth and success. All you have to do is buy their secret formula.

I see a page like that, and my immediate reaction "sleazy snakeoil salesman."

People know in their guts when something is icky. You might not be able to put your finger on it exactly or quite articulate why it's icky, but you just know it.

The latest creative argument from the peddlers (i.e., Internet marketers) selling this baloney is that anyone who objects makes the mistake of thinking they are the target market. So anyone who expresses their gut-level disdain is automatically "not our target market." Oh, how convenient.

So who exactly is the target market then? I know who it is. It's any dumb sucker willing to believe the hype. Internet marketers prey on people's own greed, laziness and cheapness.

Does the sales page work? Sure. It works on all the aforementioned greedy, lazy, cheap dumb suckers who desperately want to believe that there is some secret magic formula to creating massive numbers of customers and getting rich quick.

Do I ever want to make money that way? By preying on the ugliest traits of human psychology?

Absolutely not. I'm not in business to make money off dumb suckers.

Successful, effective marketing doesn't require you to be misleading, dishonest or unprincipaled.

Excellent copywriting and design can communicate and accomplish all your marketing objectives without any of the sleazy manipulations the sales page peddlers tout.

What Does "Reasonably Priced" Mean?

I'm confused.

What exactly do people mean when they ask that a professional be "reasonably priced?"

One person's "reasonable price" is going to be another person's perceived "extravagent, way-out-of-my-league price."

If someone asks me if I'm "reasonably priced," my answer is "Sure. I'm very reasonably priced for a seasoned pro with the superior level skills and knowledge that I offer clients."

I might even think I'm a bit on the "cheap" side.

But a new business owner, one who's never owned a business before, and perhaps knows little about business and business economics might think I'm really expensive.

On the other hand, a savvy business owner might see that "extravagently" priced service as a bargain in terms of the value and results that I can bring them.

To be perfectly candid, the implication of "reasonably priced" is a bit offensive to me. If someone asks if I'm "reasonably priced," do they really mean to ask if I'm willing to devalue myself and what I offer? Are they asking me to price my service and knowledge at a rate that won't keep me in business or earn a profit? Are they asking if I would be willing to sell my value at far less than it's worth?

I understand the need to make the most of whatever resources and budget you have available. But being smart in business means understanding the value of a good investment and thinking strategically.

Sometimes a bargain doesn't come wrapped as "reasonably priced." Sometimes a real bargain costs a bit upfront, but the results are well worth the investment and end up saving you dollars in the long-run.

Don't be penny-wise and pound-foolish.

RAVE: More Cool Stuff from The Billable Hour Company

So much cool stuff going on over at The Billable Hour Company.

Starting out with the beautiful clocks and time pieces, they've now added neat new product lines such as humorous cards and gifts geared toward the legal professional.

And my friend, Lisa Solomon and her husband and business partner in The Billable Hour Company, Mark, were recently featured in a fantastic article on outsourcing and the new small business paradigm from USA Today which you can read here: http://www.usatoday.com/money/smallbusiness/2006-12-10-micros-usat_x.htm

Below is their most recent press release (you GOTTA listen to audio clips--HILARIOUS!):

CDs for JDs: Soundtrack of the Legal Life Available From The Billable Hour Company

Summary—The Billable Hour Company, an online retailer of novel gifts customizable printed greeting cards especially for lawyers, has opened a music store offering CDs of humorous songs about the law, by the Bar & Grill Singers and Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury. The CDs are available for $14.95 each at the company’s website, www.TheBillableHour.com.

ARDSLEY, NEW YORK, January 23, 2007—The Billable Hour Company—Having trouble figuring out what music to play in the background as you bang out that brief? Looking for some songs to psych you up on the way to court?  The Billable Hour Company has the answer to these interrogatories: we've opened a music store featuring CDs by and for members of the legal profession.  The music store is at www.TheBillableHour.com/music.php.

The Bar & Grill Singers are a group of practicing attorneys in Austin, Texas. On their three CDs—A Time to Grill, Grilling Me Softly and Licensed to Grill—they blend layered vocal harmonies with topics ranging from lifetime judicial appointments ("Appointed Forever") to somnambulant factfinders ("The Jury Sleeps Upright").

The Language of Law (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

It's in His Briefs (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

The Jury Sleeps Upright (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

Court TV (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

I'm Billing Time (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

Appointed Forever (sample) by The Bar & Grill Singers

West Virginia lawyer Bob Noone—along with with his group, The Well Hung Jury—covers a lot of ground on his two featured albums, Wingtips Optional and Second Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer’s Soul, tackling everything from legal education ("Fifty Ways to Get Through Law School") to lawyer advertising ("Bring Your Case Here to Me") and more.

Lawsuit Riot (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

Bring Your Case Here to Me (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

My Lawyer's Back (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

I'm a Lawyer (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

I'm Too Busy (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

Fifty Ways to Get Through Law School (sample) by Bob Noone & the Well Hung Jury

Both groups perform in a wide range of musical styles, from swing (Noone’s "Lawsuit Riot") to 80’s pop (Bar & Grill’s "I’m Billing Time"), R&B (Noone’s "My Will") to do-wop (Bar & Grill’s "Mr. Foreman").

"We chose these groups to inagurate our musical offerings because their songs are simply hilarious," said Lisa Solomon, partner in The Billable Hour Company. Mark Solomon—a lawyer and actively performing musician himself—also noted the albums’ tight arrangements and high production values.

Song samples are available to journalists at www.TheBillableHour.com/billablehouraudiosamples.php. Bloggers and writers for online legal publications are invited to embed these samples on their blogs or websites using the code provided below. The embedded samples will look exactly as they do on the samples page of the Billable Hour website.

The CDs are available for $14.95 each at the company’s website, www.TheBillableHour.com.

About The Billable Hour Company

The Billable Hour Company sells humorous gifts and greeting cards especially for lawyers, law students and legal professionals. Gift items include timepieces featuring dials marked in six-minute increments—the same way many lawyers bill their time. For additional information, contact Lisa Solomon or visit the company’s website at www.TheBillableHour.com.

RANT: Hey, All You Writers and Reporters...

I've got a challenge for you!

You have written about Virtual Assistance and Virtual Assistants for almost 10 years now. The trend has been to constantly take the angle that we're a bunch of mommies vacuously changing diapers while dabbling on the side pathetically grubbing for any scrap change we can.

I know why you take this road—because women and moms are a huge demographic with the most buying power, the biggest force to be reckoned with in the marketplace.

But I've got news for you--I'm a mom, and I and the vast majority of my colleagues are insulted by this constant portrayal. Us moms (and dads) in the Virtual Assistance profession want to give you something else to chew on!

Being a mom (or dad) is the hardest, most important job there is. But being a mom or dad doesn't sum up the whole of our being, and reducing us to only that one particular circumstance of our lives is not only demeaning, it’s inaccurate.

Yes, there are those who do dabble in our work for side money—but those are telecommuters, NOT Virtual Assistants.

Virtual Assistance is a skilled profession that requires many years of real world experience and skills development. Virtual Assistants are bold, empowered, entrepreneurial women and men who offer the world and our families much more than some chump change on the side!

We are tenacious, fiercely determined business women and men, taking charge of our own futures and fortunes. We make our own way in the world. We are masters of ingenuity and innovation. We are scrappy independents who embody the spirit this country was forged upon, and if trends are any indication, where the future of this country lies.

Why not start reporting on that for a change?